Wow. I really don’t want this blog to sound perpetually down and depressing, but it is equally important to me to be honest in my struggles. In doing so I hope I can aid others going through similar battles to know that they are not the only one…and that no matter how bad things get there is always someone to share your pain with. There is a lot of power to be found in a support network, both for recovery and fulfillment. It is my wish that in some small way this blog will help someone out there. Nothing could make me happier than that.
[Source] ~ Isn’t this photo beautiful? ~
See yourself for what you really are, underneath ED, and take consolation in knowing that all trials come to an end. Keep the faith and keep up the fight! God bless you.
FYI, do understand that I need to hear this as much as anyone but writing it all out helps me. After all, teaching is the best way to learn! If you are suffering from an ED, I am right there with you and I hope we can support each other along the path to recovery.
Okay, so enough about all that. I suppose y’all would like to know what’s been going on lately. Truth be told, today was a tough day: I couldn’t fall asleep last night for some reason and once slumber did find me I only enjoyed it for about 3 hours before I had to get up to go to Mass with the family. After Mass, I promptly went back to bed and slept for about 6 hours—until about 4:00 p.m. Then, while everyone else was at youth group (my parents help out with youth ministry at our parish), I had a binge. Like, a HUGE binge. Well, at least it seemed huge to me. It was pretty big…and hard. I don’t think a lot of people really understand the nature of binges. It’s the weirdest thing—I’m so out of control sometimes, it gets to the point where the food doesn’t even sound or taste good but still down the hatch it goes. It’s like the food is going to fill this void inside me. What that void is I’m not entirely sure, but it’s really not about food. Now, if you’ve been through any sort of treatment for an ED you know that this statement often seems overused. Sometimes it just doesn’t even make any sense, because for many sufferers food seems to be all the ED is about. Well it’s not. So don’t blame the food. And above all, DON’T BLAME YOURSELF! Believing in your own beauty and worth while in the depth of the illness is one of the hardest things. It’s just so easy to beat yourself up. But
please try, as much as you can, to give yourself a little compassion. Remember, it is an illness and it is never the victim’s choice or fault.
please try, as much as you can, to give yourself a little compassion. Remember, it is an illness and it is never the victim’s choice or fault.
See yourself for what you really are, underneath ED, and take consolation in knowing that all trials come to an end. Keep the faith and keep up the fight! God bless you.
FYI, do understand that I need to hear this as much as anyone but writing it all out helps me. After all, teaching is the best way to learn! If you are suffering from an ED, I am right there with you and I hope we can support each other along the path to recovery.
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