You may actually find it more helpful not to pray to remove your thorn - ie. that your circumstance would be "better" in an outward sense - but that the Lord would gain what He is after in you, even if He must keep the thorn on a bit longer... Tell the Lord in a very simple and honest way, as if He is your bestest and only real friend in the whole world: "Lord, I can't make it." And He will tell you that He already knows that. :) His whole purpose is to SHOW us that even our strongest efforts are really just weakness - He wants us to lean on Him as our beloved (like in Song of Songs). :)
So maybe we don’t so much need to embrace an ED (or whatever your issue is), as we need to learn and grow from the experience that God has obviously given us for a reason. What could be possibly be teaching us through this?
I know for me, personally, that suffering an eating disorder has challenged everything that I thought I was. Going through something like this has forced me to stop relying on myself and instead turn to God for everything. I literally feel so helpless and so small at times, and for a control freak like me those are not easy emotions to deal with. But perhaps he is preparing me for something greater, maybe this is just the next step in something truly big that he is going to do in my life.
Looking back, it is interesting to observe how much I have changed through this process of growth…and how it has, in a way, forged my passions and what I want to do with my life. I want to help others, I want to share my talents and promote the truth. Without my eating disorder would I still feel as firmly about those things?
I think it is nearly impossible for anyone to go through something like an eating disorder and not emerge with a strong desire to help others. Maybe that is what he wanted of me all along? And maybe, for that, I should be grateful to my eating disorder. After all, it is part of what has made me what I am today.
Yet at a certain point of recovery, I think we need to let that identity go and instead embrace the person we have become—ready to take what we’ve learned and pursue life with all our energy.
Last night I made a really yummy dish. In fact it was so tasty that I recreated it today for lunch. The basic idea was a mostly-raw version of the classic black beans and rice. I took a little interpretive license, however, and it ended up more like Mexican spaghetti (this Italian/Mexican--Mexitaly?-- theme reminds me of Shannonmarie’s spaghetti tacos). Whatever it was, it was surprisingly good. I say “surprisingly” because as someone who is really new to raw foods, it still amazes me when I come across a dish that is both satisfying and raw. You raw veterans probably think I’m crazy for thinking otherwise, but like I said, I’m just learning and sometimes my experiments don’t always turn out quite right. : )
Anyway, here is the basic recipe: I made some zucchini “pasta” using a julienne tool (I don’t have a fancy spiralizer yet) and topped it with a sauce I made in the food processor out of some red bell pepper, a handful or so of cherry tomatoes, and a carrot (this recipe was roughly based on Aletheia’s gazpacho). On top of that I put cooked black beans (not raw; I used canned ones that were very well rinsed), some frozen corn that I rinsed to thaw (I don’t think this is technically raw, either. Fresh corn would be delish!) and a 1/2 of an avocado which I cut up (not pictured). Now, for the secret ingredient: cumin. Lots of cumin. This is what really makes the dish taste Mexican and it adds a lovely flavor! You could also sprinkle on some cilantro (fresh or dried) and perhaps a little fresh ground black pepper, as I did today. Also try squeezing a bit of lime or lemon juice over everything, or mix it into the sauce. Yum!
I think it would be fun to tweak this recipe and make the sauce more like a salsa. Perhaps one could even experiment with sprouted beans instead of the cooked, too (I don’t know).
I would still like to make a dish more similar to the black beans and rice I grew up with. Our version was usually beans served on a bed of rice (I could make cauliflower “rice”) and garnished with cheese (use shredded carrots or freeze nut cheese and then shred), salsa (make a fresh version), and sour cream (a cashew cream, maybe?). I may have to experiment with that recipe a bit more… Let me know if any of you decide come up with anything or have any suggestions!
Today I got my hair cut…well, actually I got them all cut…but that is a lame joke so we’re just going to move right on….
Before: (my hair was wet here)
Please try to ignore my acne. : / Hehe. As you can see, nothing earth-shattering; just a trim and some minor layering. It’s pretty boring but I don’t feel like going back to bangs just yet. The good part is no more shaggy, nasty ends. I didn’t realize how bad that looked (well, it’s kind of hard to really compare because my hair is wet in the “befores”.) Oh, and I’m not doing any kind of interpretive dance in the second of each set of pics—I just have my hand up to hold the camera up. : )
Be sure to check back tomorrow for a decadent mostly-raw take on an old favorite!
“Suffering is but another name for the teaching of experience, which is the parent of instruction and the schoolmaster of life.” ~Horace
P.S. Katie is hosting a Vitamix giveaway. Check it out!